Business-Speak: Efficient or Infuriating?
By Lon W. Schiffbauer, BA, MBA, PhD, SPHR
Can you read Dutch? No? Are you sure? What do you say we give it a try.
Mijn naam is Lon Schiffbauer.
Mijn huis is in Sandy, Utah.
Ik heb een vrouw en vijf kinderen.
Were you able to figure it out? It says:
My name is Lon Schiffbauer.
My house is in Sandy, Utah.
I have a wife and five children.
Not bad. Turns out you can read Dutch after all. Now let’s try a new one. Can you read English? You can? Are you sure? Alright, let’s give it a try then. Here is a single sentence from a website development business proposal, explaining how the site will be designed. You ready? Okay, we go:
Use a constituent-centric design approach, with early input from business consumers using design thinking best practices, to help inform user needs and expectations.
You got it? Need some time to work it out? I mean come on, you read Dutch after all, surely English isn’t such a chore, is it? Well, the best I can make it out, the sentence means:
Ask users what they need, then design a great website around those needs.
Now, imagine a 20-page document made up of sentences like this—this, and much, much worse. That’s exactly what a high-powered web architectural consulting firm delivered to a major Silicon Valley tech company, along with a one-million-dollar price tag.
This kind of business speak is so prevalent, so pervasive that it’s hardly recognized as anything to concern oneself with, let alone a problem to be fixed. It’s just the way things are; best to get with the program and embrace the inevitable. Right? But why is this? Why do business people around the world communicate like this? There are many reasons, but to understand these reasons we first need to understand what business speak is.
What is Business Speak?
In the book On Bullshit, Harry G. Frankfurt, moral philosopher and Professor of Philosophy Emeritus at Princeton University, defined business speak—or bullshit, as he termed it—as something that is designed to create a certain impression of the speaker for the audience, one that is not necessarily rooted in truth. Furthermore, bullshitters quietly and subtly govern and control the conversation on their end, thereby making claims of falsehood unlikely and irrelevant.
Frankfurt compares the idea of bullshit with that of humbug, offered by Max Black of Cornell. According to Black, humbug is “deceptive misrepresentation, short of lying, especially by pretentious word or deed, of somebody’s own thoughts, feelings, or attitudes.”
In the beautifully-titled study, On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit, the authors contribute to this important field of research by adding that “pseudo-profound bullshit” desires to be perceived as true and profound, yet is too vague and deliberately ambiguous to be considered such. Rather than inform, it attempts to impress, seeking more to be engaging rather than instructive.
I’m especially fond of the how John Lanchester of the New Yorker described business-speak. He called it “elaborate ritual and language, designed to bamboozle and mystify and intimidate.”
Pulling the key elements of all these definitions together, I believe that business speak is written or verbal communication designed to create a specific and calculated impression of the speaker in the minds of the audience, an impression not necessarily grounded in truth, all with the intent of impressing, bewildering, intimidating, or tranquilizing the audience.
So, with this in mind, let’s look at the reasons why so many in business engage in this practice.
To answer this question, we have to think about what the person wants; what is their purpose in communicating?
Now to be completely fair, there are some legitimate reasons people use business jargon and whatnot. For example, using jargon can be very efficient. A lot can be communicated in a single word or phrase, so long as everyone knows what one means with that phrase. For example, when I was with Intel Corporation, we used the phrase “hard stop,” as in, “I have a hard stop at 2 o’clock.” What did this mean? Well, imagine it’s 1 o’clock you’re getting on a phone meeting. (It wasn’t uncommon to have four or five such meetings a day.) However, at 2 o’clock you have a meeting with the VP and you just plain cannot be late. Well, you have a choice: you can say:
“At 2 o’clock I have another obligation that requires my attention. It’s important and inflexible, so if when 2 o’clock rolls around and we’re still on the phone, I will hang up and attend this other matter. I won’t ask permission or excuse myself; I will simply hang up. If at little before 2 o’clock you sense that this meeting is running late, please do not ask me if I can stay for ‘just a few more minutes.’ If you do, I will remind you that I have another obligation and will be unable to stay past 2 o’clock.”
Or you can say:
“I have a hard stop at 2 o’clock.”
Efficiency, you got to love it!
Business jargon helps to create a cohesive team, reinforcing a sense of camaraderie. Industry-specific words and phrases act sort of like secret codewords might in a children’s clubhouse. It’s like a secret language that indicates who’s on the inside and who’s on the outside. In my case, I haven’t worked for Intel in over a decade, but my business partner and I—both proud Intel veterans—still use Intel jargon when working together. It’s a way of reaffirming our relationship and place on the team.
But there’s more to business speak as we’ve defined it than the use of jargon. When it comes to business speak as a whole, the intent is not to be clear, transparent, or informative, or even efficient. So, what is it, then? Let’s consider just a few possible objectives:
The Person Wants to Hide Bad News
Doesn’t want reveal that he’s delivering bad news; wants the audience to passively accept what he says without getting emotional or upset.
The Person Wants to Duck Accountability
Doesn’t want to be held accountable for what has happened; wants the audience to redirect their anger to something safe, like “them” and “they”.
The Person Wants to Avoid Questions
Doesn’t want to face the hard questions; wants the audience to passively accept what he says without asking questions.
The Person Wants to Hide Ignorance
Doesn’t want to let on that he’s out of his depth; wants the audience to think he knows what he is credible, on top of things, and in control.
The Person Wants a Speedy Resolution
Doesn’t want to have to defend his decision; wants a quick and painless “yes” so he can move on.
The Person Wants to Avoid Additional Work
Doesn’t was additional requests or job tasks to be added to their plate; if anything, wants work taken off their plate.
The Person Wants to Impress
Wants to impress and feel the admiration of the audience; doesn’t want to be seen as dull and uninspiring.
The Person Wants to Sustain the Status Quo
When everyone in the organization is employing business speak and there’s nothing to be gained and everything to be lost in bucking the system, it’s all too easy to fall into line and uphold the linguistic aspects of the organization’s culture. In so doing we maintain our standing in the collective and avoid being ostracized.
So, this is what the communicator is trying to accomplish. Now let’s look at the tools available to them to meet these goals.
Render Obscure
A great way to bewilder and befuddle the audience is to render something obscure—to make it unclear and unintelligible. This can be done through the use of jargon, pretentious words, and acronyms.
Frame the Question in Binary Terms
One way to do this is by inferring that there are only two options: the right one, which you’re of course recommending, and the bad one, which anyone can see is wrong in every possible way.
Weaponize Boredom
By making the topic long, dull, and endlessly tedious, the communicator can lull the audience into a mind-numbing stupor, thereby erasing any chance of interest or engagement in the topic. By the end, when “are there any questions” is asked, people will be so ready to get out of there that they’ll shake their heads vehemently and bolt for the door.
Over-Engineer
Doing this makes their work seem far more complicated, difficult, and time-consuming than it really is. The idea is to come across as indispensable and impress the higher-ups.
Make Anonymous
One of the most common ways to do this is by using passive language, such as “It has been decided that…”. This makes it difficult for the audience to figure out where to direct their response. Another way to make something anonymous is to remove all personality from the communication and bloating is with generic and impersonal niceties and formalities.
Intimidate
In some cases, using big words is the intellectual equivalent of standing over someone and puffing you’re your chest. Think of it as intellectual bullying. It’s a way of saying, “You don’t want challenge me; I’m clearly the smartest person in the room. In fact, you’re probably the only one here who doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Are you sure you want to expose your ignorance by asking questions?”
How Not to Speak Like a Business Person
Alright, so we’ve analyzed what poor internal communication looks like why it’s used. But now let’s consider what good communication looks like; not communication designed to impress, intimidate, or mislead, but that which educates, informs, inspires, and illuminates.
Compelling: “What’s in It for Me?”
Good communication grabs the audience’s attention. After all, anything you have to say won’t matter a hill of beans if you can’t engage their attention in the first place. Now I’m not talking about tricks or gimmicks here, I’m talking about making the topic important to the audience. Before you do anything else, you need to explain what’s in it for them—why should they care? You can’t take their attention for granted. They only have so much to give so they’ll invest it where they choose. You need to show them how the message matters to them—not you; them. Do that and you’ll compel their attention.
Direct: “Who, What, Where, When, How, Why”
Right away, in the first paragraph if writing, in the first few minutes if speaking, explain:
- Who needs this information
- What they need to do with it
- Where they can do it
- How it should be done
- Why it needs to be done
Once you do this you’re welcome to provide any additional information you feel may be helpful or lend context, but don’t make you audience have to search for what they need to take the desired action. Don’t make it hard for them to do as you invite; make it easy for them. Besides, you and I both know then few of us make it past the couple paragraphs of first five minutes when reading an email or watching a video. Give the audience what they want right away, then, if they choose to stick around, all’s the better, but if they don’t they’ll still have the information they need to do as you ask.
Simple, Clear, and Concise: “Less Is More”
Clear simple sentences are the friend of effective communicators, and even more so of grateful audiences. What’s more, you want to avoid industry jargon and acronyms as much as possible. Write and speak as though communicating with someone with no particular deep knowledge of the industry. Ask yourself, how would I explain this to my grandmother?
Natural and Friendly: “Party of the First Part”
We want to be polite and professional in our communications, but this doesn’t mean we need to be stilted and robotic. Let the language flow in an easy, natural way. Furthermore, don’t try to “butter up” the audience or spin the message, making it sound like something good or positive when it’s not. Your audience members aren’t fools; they’ll see right through any con you might try to pull over their eyes.
Credible: “Data-Driven Decision-Making”
Rhetoric has its place in business communication, but not at the cost of facts, data, citations, and informed deliberation. This is where the phrase “data-drive decision-making” comes into play. Good communication is about getting the right information to the right people at the right time. “The right information” should include facts and data from credible sources that can help inform the decision-making process.
Be the Maverick
I’m going to be honest: abandoning business speak and adopting a compelling, direct, simple, natural, and credible style instead won’t be easy. There’s a great deal of cultural inertia behind business speak so any reports of its demise will be greatly exaggerated. Still, anything you can do in your own little part of the world can only help. Have a fantastic day!
References
Frankfurt, H. G. (2005). On bullshit. Princeton University Press.
Fugere, B., Hardaway, C., & Warshawsky, J. (2005). Why business people speak like idiots: A bullfighter’s guide. Free Press.
Lanchester, J. (2014). Money talks: Learning the language of finance. The New Yorker. Retrieved from https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/08/04/money-talks-6
Pennycook, G., Cheyne, J. A., Barr, N., Koehler, D. J., & Fugelsang, J. A. (2015). On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit. Judgement and Decision-Making, 10(6), 549-563.
Lon is an Associate Professor of Business Management at Salt Lake Community College and holds an MBA, a PhD, and is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR). In addition to his academic background, Lon spent close to 30 years working and consulting for such companies as FedEx, Intel, eBay, and PayPal, as well as a variety of small to mid-sized companies around the world.